How do you go from hosting an engaging, grass roots cooking show (Kiwi Kitchen) to selling the merits of powdered 'Home Brand' Raro in less than 2 years?

Via the shameless, financial lure of the infomercial.

At least when Jamie Oliver partnered with Sainsbury's in the UK, he retained some control over the products he endorsed. Poor old Richard Till appears to have sold his soul for a steady income from Countdown supermarkets and whichever retarded brands they're attempting to flog on any given week.

Disposable razors? Sure thing.

Toothbrushes? No Problem.

Your own dignity? You betcha!

What. A. Dick.

A father has admitted leaving a baby with a heart condition outside a Wellington strip club in the middle of the night.

Beneficiary Wayne Ricardo Schwamm, 42, of Feilding, left the 18-month-old boy in the back of a car while he was in Splash Club - which is attached to The Mermaid strip club - on Courtenay Pl on April 13. He says he was visiting a friend, a prostitute, who worked in that club.

There's just too many keywords in this case not to love it. Beneficiary, heart condition, baby, strip club, prostitute.

But most striking thing about Wayne Ricardo Schwamm, is how eerily similar he looks to Boromir (Sean Bean) from Lord of the Rings.

What a dick.

Brian Tamaki was recently quoted as saying that "refusing to tithe is stealing from god". Which only poses two questions..

1) How much of his own six figure salary does Brian tithe back to the church that pays him?

and

2) How, exactly, does god receive the money collected by Destiny's Church? Western Union?

What a dick.

The international outpouring of support, aid money and goodwill looks set to dry up this week thanks to Simon Cowell.

A pale derivative of both Live Aid singles, and even that Lou Reed song (Perfect Day) that was butchered in the 90s, this rag-tag collection of pop musics' most eminently forgettable, sick-in-the-mouth inducing stars, crooning along to a bastard version of REM's 'Everybody Hurts' is sure to be the nail in the coffin of a western guilt that has already been overexposed unsafe levels of celebrity appeals.

Perhaps the only positive aspect to this likely last act of global charity will be that, like every consumer driven piece of trash Simon Cowell has lent his hand to, it should at least generate gazillions of dollars in aid money.

Unfortunately, it is not enough to disqualify him from appearing on this site.

What a dick.

Waikato farmer Steve Meier has fought a five year battle with electricity provider Transpower, during which time he has refused to let them maintain or trim any shrubbery around the electricity pylons situated on his land.

On Monday, oddly enough, the trees caught on fire, resulting in major blackouts affecting half the population of the North Island.

What a dick.

An early entrant to the 2010 Darwin Awards, Reuben McPherson, 15, was recently spotted jumping into the fast running waters of the Upper Waiau River, meters from the open gates of a hydro electric turbine.

Should anyone in the New Zealand South experience a momentary dimming of the lights sometime over the next few weeks, you'll at least know the cause.

What a dick.

It's bad enough that he writes saccharine U2-lite pop songs, but now the lead singer of Kiwi band Opshop is building an Ark in anticipation of the 2012 apocalypse, which, apparently "he read about in some book".

What a dick.